


I Don't Want To Be A Woman You Love

by caisha



Series: Well If It's You Asking (Olicity Drabbles) [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Green Arrow - All Media Types, olicity - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Gen, Post-3x09, olicity - Freeform, yet more angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2015-01-07
Packaged: 2018-03-06 12:01:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3133739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caisha/pseuds/caisha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after they realize Oliver is dead in 3x10. </p><p>After Oliver's funeral, Felicity has a breakdown.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Want To Be A Woman You Love

**Author's Note:**

> A short, but powerful drabble inspired by this post: http://caishakalianah.tumblr.com/post/107368684278/could-felicity-say-i-dont-want-to-be-a-woman-you

"I don’t want to be a woman that you love," Felicity cried as her knees sunk into the wet ground around Oliver’s grave. "If it means you’re not here with me."

It had been a quiet service as requested, but Felicity had refused to go with them when they had left, pushing both Diggle and Roy away to leave her in peace.

She put her hands on the freshly piled dirt, intending to spread it on his coffin that was adorned with roses - but another wracking sob took hold of her.

 _"HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME?"_ She screamed, her voice echoing around the grove of trees. “You  _PROMISED.”_

Oliver had always been so in love with the idea of self-sacrifice, imagining that it was often the only way to ensure success. She had hoped, once he realized that he was stronger with a team, that maybe…that would change.

It hadn’t.

"You said you loved me, and then you  _died,”_ she continued as she wiped her dirt-stained fingers on her face to catch the tears. “What am I supposed to do now, Oliver? We were supposed to smile at each other, I was supposed to babble and you were supposed to kiss me until I couldn’t breathe. Now all I have is this.”

Felicity held up the green hood that had meant so much to Oliver, a representation of the mentor who had first believed in him and taught him so much. He hadn’t taken it with him, maybe because he didn’t believe he’d need it, but Felicity had realized with horror that it was because he had never expected to come back.

She jumped as a hand was placed on her shoulder and Diggle sat down beside her, silently sharing their strength. 

"You’re so much stronger than me, John," she said. "How am I supposed to move on when all I feel is rage and this crushing pressure on my heart?"

"I didn’t love him the way you did, Felicity." Diggle said softly, squeezing his hand as she sobbed loudly. "It’s…not easy, but it’s easier because of that. He loved you, you two had a connection that will never be severed, it existed long before you heard the words and it will exist long after this moment."

Felicity looked at him through her tears, sniffling, “I don’t want to be a woman he loves, I’m not strong enough for it now.” Her hand smoothed over the hood, “He made me stronger, and now I’m just broken.”

The last part was so soft that Diggle could barely hear it, “You made each other better and that doesn’t go away because he’s not here with you now.”

She leaned over and put her head on his shoulder, staring at the trees that surrounded the Queen family graveyard.

"I never even told him."

"What?"

"That I loved him. He never knew," she whispered as her eyes drifted to the rose-covered coffin.

"Tell him now."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.


End file.
